“Isn’t it a lie and even psychological torture to expect today’s children to wait until they are married in order to have sex?”

Someone asked this question on their Facebook timeline and it got me thinking.

Isn’t it time to take a different approach on sex education? I mean shouldn’t we be realistic in our approach given this age of information?
We can’t still be stuck in our parents’ times when even talking to a boy warranted a beating.
Sex is a taboo subject in our African culture as far as I know. It was never discussed yet somehow you were expected to know all about it.
For a girl you couldn’t ask your parents because you had to explain why you are asking “stupid” questions or would have to answer to your mom asking you if you think now that your chest is full and your behind can be seen from a mile away you think you are old enough to be opening your legs to boys.

Having a boyfriend meant your mom opening a can of whoopass everytime you seen with the said boy because she had whole neighbourhood spying on you. And believe me they were faster than 3G at relaying this information to your parents and hanging around for the aftermath. The shame and confusion that came with it, don’t even. Let alone the determination and the intent to go see that boy again. In my opinion they just made things worse especially if the forbidden fruit have been partaken running away was more than likely.
So many girls became young mothers some as as early as 13 and 14.

Sex was and I think still is treated as a crime as something so wrong and shameful when really it’s not .
Sex is a natural biological act that happens when the biological clock signals the body that it’s time to get some. All we can do is guide our children through these uncharted waters. They are just learning.
They have got no idea what’s happening to them and don’t even know how to deal with all these feelings and emotions.
We can teach them especially girls whatbis acceptable and what’s not.
Sex should be consentual and pleasurable and we should teach it’s OK to say NO and it’s OK take no for an answer.
The worst we can do I think is adding to the confusion by demonising a very natural act that they are supposed to enjoy after adolescence.

I think it’s more practical to teach them about safe sex rather than beating our heads against hard walls and trying to navigate slippery slopes.

#CarolsInsights
#ThatAfricanGirlPoetry