Trapped in my my head
Chains in thoughts
Bind my deeds
I need to break free

A prisoner in my mind
I try to rise up
Doubt stands guard
It holds me back

It yanks back
The confidence in me
And every time I try to run
Not good enough trips me

Courage steps up
Tries to pick me up
Not once, has it failed
It gave up & went into hiding

Without confidence
Esteem visits no more
Told me it feels small
In the face of disappointment

The past, is my cell mate
That reminds me of my failures
Shame from the same block
Comes along for a yarn

But won’t leave without regret
With no sense of time
Regret likes to hang out
It’s good mates guilt always tags along

There’s a virus on the loose
Dangerous and lethal
Yet elusive, it’s hard to catch
Prompting a lockdown

With the lockdown
Courage remains in hiding
But this time with an excuse
The viral killer on the loose

Rules of the lockdown
Esteem remains inside
It’s unsafe to go out
There’s a killer on the loose

I need find courage from within
Failure is part of life, I learnt
I have to talk up my self esteem
What is left of me from the shame
Will gather confidence & be free

I’m breaching the lockdown rules
I’m breaking the chains
Break free, from the prison
In my head & run

Run to a higher ground
Rise to a higher realm of self esteem
Rise with confidence & run
I am a fugitive in my head

©️ C Akui 2020/12/8

#Carolsinsights #ThatAfricanGirlPoetry

Image c/- Google for illustration